


What Makes You Think You Failed?

by GalahadWilder



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Desperada, F/M, Fluff, Sandboy, Sandboy 2, Sandboy II, The violence is pretty minor I promise, post-desperada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 17:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20710055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalahadWilder/pseuds/GalahadWilder
Summary: Because Ladybug doesn't know that Chat Noir was Aspik, he's been able to keep the truth about his greatest failure from her. But when Sandboy comes back, his secret is exposed. How will his Lady react to knowing he failed her twenty-five thousand times?





	1. Chapter 1

They don't know much about Sandboy, but they're fairly certain his parents should take him to a therapist. If his nightmares are this bad—bad enough for him to get Akumatized _twice_—he clearly needs more help than he's getting.

Still, they're more ready this time than they were before. Nightmares are nightmares, sure, but now that they know the general gist of each other's fears, they have some preparations ready. Ladybug is almost looking forward to seeing what their minds dream up—she wants to _beat Chat's fears into the ground._ And her own, but that's more of a side benefit.

She's expecting a nightmare of her to show up and start spouting unprovable things about how she hates Chat Noir and how useless he is. After all, that's what happened last time; after the previous encounter with Nightmarebug, Ladybug has a whole binder full of rebuttals at the ready. Chat is _damn well going to know_ how she appreciates him.

But Nightmarebug doesn’t do what she expects.

* * *

The second she shows up, Chat Noir pales, because he can see it in her eyes: she _knows_.

“Twenty-five thousand times,” Nightmarebug spits. “You failed me _twenty-five thousand times._” She shakes her head. “I can’t believe I thought I could trust you.”

All the support goes out of Chat’s bones and he basically turns to jelly, because he knows his Lady trusts him and he knows she says she needs him but this one failure outweighs every time he’s saved her, and he’s kept that from her, and now the nightmare is telling the _real_ Ladybug that he is Aspik, that _he_ is the one that failed her and not some untrained civilian and she’ll never trust him again.

Which is, predictably, exactly where Nightmarebug’s monologue goes next. “That many failures is acceptable from an untrained civilian but you weren’t that, _were_ you, _Aspik_? You _lied_ to me and then you _failed_. Chat Noir should’ve been better than that. You’re a disgrace to your Miraculous.”

Next to him, real Ladybug’s eyes have gone as wide as dinner plates and she’s mouthing something in shock. His name, his real name. He assumes she’s horrified at how many times the boy who’s claimed to be her knight has failed to save her. (Obviously, she isn’t, but fear isn’t rational.)

“You’re gonna give me that ring,” Nightmarebug says, “and I’m gonna give it to someone who actually deserves it.” She leaps forward at him, and then—

Ladybug catches her mid-leap, slams her into the ground, pins her, and starts _beating her face in_. “NOBODY TALKS TO MY KITTEN LIKE THAT.”

Chat has never seen her this angry. Not even at the first Sandboy.

* * *

“You came back for me _twenty-five thousand times?_” she says, once Sandboy II is cured. “My—Minou. Aspik. My Adrien.”

“I’m sorry,” he responds. “I’m sorry for failing you.”

He’s surprised when her fingers touch his face, not in anger, but with softness and gentleness. “I always wondered why Adrien lasted so long,” she murmurs. “What he was trying to prove. Why he was willing to put himself through hell.” She starts petting him, and he’s stunned—isn’t she disgusted? “You always put yourself through hell for me, don’t you, Chaton?”

He’s not expecting her to forgive him. He’s even less expecting her to tilt his chin up and gently, gently, press her lips to his.

“Thank you,” she says. “For always coming back for me.”

Chat collapses into her chest and starts to sob.


	2. Chapter 2

“I have a question,” Chat says. They’re lying on a rooftop near Sandboy’s apartment, recovering from the fight. It’s late, nearly three in the morning, but neither of them really wants to go home yet.

“Bad Kitty. No questions,” Ladybug grumbles without opening her eyes. She’s stretched out perpendicular to him, her head laying on his stomach, cradled in his paw. She reaches out and smacks his thigh with her palm. “Let a lady _sleep_.”

They had escorted Sandboy (Claude, they learned) and his parents home after the Akuma was purified, and then pretty much collapsed on the nearest roof. Fighting their nightmares takes a lot out of both of them, especially this late, but… Chat has something he needs to know.

“Why’d you pick me?” he says. “Or, well, Adrien, I mean. It’s—it’s not like you knew me all that well outside the suit, so…?”

Ladybug’s eyelids fly open and her smile freezes on her face. Despite the darkness of the night, her pupils are minuscule.

“_Do we have to do this now?_” she croaks. It’s hard to tell under the waning moonlight, but Chat’s fairly certain her face is a fresh flame-red.

“I mean… no?” Chat says, rolling his head to the side, away from her—giving her what minimum amount of privacy he can when she’s literally lying on top of him. “I’m just… if you didn’t know he was _me_, I don’t know why you’d trust… me. Him. Whatever.” He waves his free hand.

She picks up her head, looks at him with confused, narrowed eyes. “Why _wouldn’t_ I?” she says.

Chat breathes in. “Well, I mean… my public image doesn’t exactly speak to integrity, you know? And then, in private…” He swallows, closes his eyes, and shakes his head. “Anyone who knows me could tell you that Adrien is… a coward. And a bit of a flake.” He holds up his claws, squeezes them together. “One bit of pressure from authority and I just fold.”

She raises an eyebrow. “When it comes to standing up for _yourself_, sure,” she says. “But, I mean… I’ve seen Adrien do some pretty impressive things when it comes to the safety of other people.”

Chat snorts. “Like w-what?” he says. Dammit, do not _cry_. “Face it, Ladybug, without this ring, my backbone has the structural integrity of wet tissue paper.”

“Twenty-five—”

“I still had magic!” he cries.

For a moment, everything is silent as his words echo off the buildings around them, slowly fading. Then Ladybug curls her hand into a fist on top of his sternum.

“Adrien,” she says. “You jumped off a _building_ for me. No magic involved.”

“I had you,” Chat murmurs.

“You didn’t have me when you forged your dad’s signature to get into school,” she snaps. “Or when you coached Nino on his date. And I guess we’re not counting how you keep tackling people out of the way of Akuma, the four times you stood up to Damocles for me, when you blackmailed Lila to get me back into sch…”

She trails off, her eyes widening, and Chat’s lungs _twist _inside his chest.

“Ma—Marinette?” he whispers.

Ladybug whimpers, burying her face into his chest. For a moment he thinks she’s about to explode, but then she nods, her chin rubbing uncomfortably on his solar plexus.

“Oh, cats,” he murmurs. “Oh, cats—I don’t—” He wraps his arms around her shoulders. “I can’t believe—agh, that makes _so much sense!” _He groans. “I called you Our Everyday Ladybug! How did you not crack up?”

“Mm.” She snuggles into his chest. “I was walking on air for a week after that.” Then her neck muscles tense, and she looks up at him. “Wait,” she says. “That—that wasn’t just a nice compliment. You actually _know_ Ladybug.”

Chat nods, embarrassed, covering his mouth with one hand. “Marinette’s the only person I ever thought was incredible enough to measure up to… well, you.”

Ladybug squeals, slamming her palm into his sternum and painfully driving the breath from his lungs. “You can’t just _say_ stuff like that!” she yelps.

“Why not?” he says with a self-satisfied smirk, crossing his arms behind his head. This late at night, with the streetlights off, there’s no obstruction from the endles starfield of the Paris night sky, and he lets his soul get dragged up into it, to chase stars across the Milky Way. “The two most important girls in my life are the same person, and neither of you hates me!”

Ladybug is quiet for a moment. “You… thought I hated you?” she says.

Chat bites his lip. “Well… I mean…” he says. “I thought you’d be mad at me for failing as Aspik, but—”

“Not that,” she interrupts, climbing up onto her elbows (which are right on top of his diaphragm, which is _real_ comfortable, thanks). “You thought… _Marinette_ hated you?”

The question strikes him for a moment—they were friends, right? Adrien and Marinette? He never really thought she hated him, he was just… confused about how she acted, and how she seemed to not want to spend any time around him, and how every word he said seemed to hurt her feelings, and… and… oh.

“Yeah,” he admits. “I guess I… kinda did.”

He’s not expecting her to smack him in the chest. “You _stupid_ cat!” she yells. “You—you—stupid, _stupid_ cat!”

“What?”

“_I’m in love with you!_”

He sits up, staring at her. She’s definitely red now, covering her mouth, her eyes wide. They lock eyes, and she starts to giggle.

“I said it,” she whispers. “Oh my gosh, I—oh gosh, I said it!” Her voice is rising, growing more frantic as she drags her hands down her face. “I can’t believe—I can’t—_I finally said it!_” She’s grinning like a lunatic, and Chat’s heart leaps straight out of his chest.

Chat grabs her hand within his own, desperate, kisses her knuckles. “My Lady,” he says, kissing again. “My Princess.” Another kiss. “_Mon Marinette._” He looks up at her, tears collecting in his eyes. “I love you too.”

“I know,” she whispers, pressing her forehead against his with a smile. “Oh, Kitty. I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Find me on Tumblr.](http://www.galahadwilder.tumblr.com)


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